Living in the present moment

I am easily distractible, and I carry a smartphone. P says I am addicted to my smartphone, he is probably right. I use it to fill up empty spaces, in-between moments. I have no quiet moments except the ones I force for myself (yoga, meditating, baths).

I can feel it making me a less coherent person. For example, today I went to look something up, but noticed someone had sent me a message. I went to reply, then – distracted – opened up emails, glanced at the news, followed links.

I am no longer sure I like the form my conversations take when using it. They are broken up, interwoven through everything else I am doing, I am constantly splitting my attention between multiple things, and I don’t work well that way.

The problem will be that I have many relationships that I nurture through my phone. But maybe I can go back to email, and carry my laptop. Laptops are more intentional. You have to open them, turn them on. You can’t slip them out when you are standing in a bus queue or glance at them off-handedly when you’re watching a movie.

I am trying to be more intentional, more thoughtful, more controlled, and my smartphone is not helpful for any of those things.

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